WAKE UP INDIA!

WAKE UP INDIA!

Keeping ourselves in tune with the new age fad of minting easy to coin catchphrases, we the humble female beauticians, living in different metro cities of India, have solemnly  resolved to popularise our new ‘mantra’ called ‘WAKE UP’.

If you find it rhyming with ‘Start up, be smart and Stand up’ India; then it is indeed a concrete evidence of your being alive in circa 2016. If you think carefully, the act of WAKING UP precedes the act of standing up or starting up!

Smart isn’t it? Especially if it comes from a bunch of hardworking, ‘stylist at home’ – service providers, engaged in the humble profession of removing excess hair follicles and dead skin cells from human body, including the feet.

Nationalist, rationalist, communist, spiritualist, numerologist, dentist, capitalist, fascist, geologist, microbiologist, (list is endless) – whatever their profession; all the Indians from Chennai to Chandigarh and Kolkata to Ahmedabad can enlist! And we are pretty sure that no one will have qualms about screaming out our brand new ‘mantra’ to prove that they are awake.

The usual suspects, like the stand-up humourists, cartoonists, astrologists, and screaming TV journalists are however humbly advised to stay away from our ‘mantra’ as we are afraid that they might steal our thunder in the name of what the nation needs to know!

Moreover, if they don’t understand our true intention to mentally wake up many of our sisters living in urban India; they might naively label us with their favourite nickname of the season. Yes you guessed it right – anti-national and anti-progressive forces!

It is also important to clarify here that we are a ‘BY WOMEN & FOR WOMEN’ organisation that serves all living ‘matas’ and the potential mothers from the human race, especially if they are living or visiting the land of Hindustan (aka BHARAT, HIND and INDIA) irrespective of their caste, creed, religious belief and nationality.

Why then the urgent need to wake up?

In the space below we have shared a couple of instant eye-openers. They have been carefully cherry picked to enlighten you on the need to be woken up besides giving you a blissful understanding of our occupational hazards.

Incidence No. 1)

A lady with crisp convent educated English accent, called us from Whitefield Bangalore. We have no objections if some of you prefer to call it Bengaluru. She claimed that she has recently shifted from Mumbai along with her engineer husband and was in urgent need of ‘Home Salon Service’ as she wasn’t familiar with her neighbourhood parlours as yet. Her only request was that she wanted a ‘CHINESE’ female beautician! It was a shock for our call centre employee and her supervisor. Supervisor being an avid follower of social and electronic media, totally believed in the ‘achhey din’ story but wasn’t too sure, if such good times had indeed arrived, wherein Chinese professional therapists (females) had started providing doorstep parlour services in India.

Our potential customer then went on to describe how these allegedly Chinese women are frequently spotted in her new neighbourhood and to her utter surprise a few of them were even heard speaking in Hindi!

Our smart supervisor was immediately awakened. Her inner eyes had opened. She regained her composure and in her usual humble demeanour she queried, whether the lady meant north eastern girls – hailing from one of the seven sister states and new born brotherly state of North East India?

Our respected potential patron emphatically repeated – YES the CHINKY females please!!! They are extremely polite and ohhh…soooo…. soft spoken.

We had to politely express our inability to send Chinese girls at her place or for that matter any Indian homes without them having an Indian visa.

We the less educated women of India also believe that such terminologies are derogatory. Do you? Are you awake to such crass ignorant racism around you? If no, then it’s time to say it aloud and say it together – WAKE-UP INDIA!

If you have also witnessed such an exhibition of smartness, from your fellow Indian sisters, then let’s get together to distribute a few maps of India. We can then shout – BHARAT KE MATAO KI BHI JAI alongside hail motherland.

Incidence No.2)

Another well-heeled potential patron called us at her foreign sounding posh apartment in * Gurgaon. *(If you are into past life regression these days, then please call it by its new name – The ‘CYBERCITY cum MILLENNIUM CITY of GURUGRAM’).

 She needed an expensive paraben free imported facial done on her immediately. We suggested an Italian brand. She agreed.

The therapist reached on time and was politely made to wait near the entrance of her expensive abode. To our collective rude shock, the hubby dear of our patron began screaming at our call centre co-ordinator, saying… ‘My wife is extremely fair, pinkish and delicate. And how dare you send a dusky complexioned aesthetician at my doorstep for the parlour services? How can I allow her to touch my wife’s face’ Why do you keep such women on your payroll!

This charming little display of prejudice against a particular skin tone may unnerve the weak, but not us.

We at ‘HOME SALON SERVICE’ are extremely proud of the fact that we do not discriminate on the basis of complexion at all. But if you do, then it’s time to collectively WAKE UP from this British or colonial hangover. Some historians may add Aryan, Hun and Greek, Afghan or Mughal influence too.

Jai Hind sisters, we believe we live in a free and democratic country called India. Hence we are planning to request the authorities to create more sensitive and sensible cities instead of smart cities and insensitive citizens.

Incidence No. 3)

A jet setting social worker having an Indian passport and working on several women empowerment related issues in the developing world; called us during the lunch break at one of the women centric international conference in Kuala Lumpur and requested us for a doorstep beauty service in her hotel room in Hyderabad; a brief stopover on her way back home in Pune.

Our telephone operator expressed our constraints as an on-demand beauty service provider and our inability to serve customers in a hotel room, unless they are traveling alone as a women. They also have to share with us the hotels management’s consent.

Undeterred by our polite refusal she pressed us to confirm the appointment as she was pregnant. She also procured the necessary permission from the hotel’s duty manager.

Being an emotional and yet practical Indian enterprise, we gave in to her repeated appeals and sent our senior most therapists Ms. Lata – a mother of two grown up children. An expert in providing a gentle and caring massage to expecting and lactating mothers.

Our dear patron sent Lata back from the hotel room saying ‘Lata’ was too old.

We did not know at age 40 a woman was old for another woman for providing beauty services like ammonia free hair colour (root touch-up) and a fresh fruit clean-up.

Bharat Mata must be a grand old lady then. What do we do with her? Send her to an old age home?

WAKE UP INDIA – before we learn to stand or start up.

JAI HIND.

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